Magazine Archive
Magazine Archive
The Absorption (Part 7)
Temperature’s rising, skin’s flaky and dry Can’t see Vancouver, can’t barely fly Drumsticks so heavy, go grab some bread I wish I was a baby, or a poult or an egg Dry turkey has got me on the run for some mayo or some mustard or some gravy or some custard.
The Absorption (Part 6)
Sugar rations during WWII landed American snackers to eat three times more popcorn. The salacious scribe, the paradise pear pundit, pasta maker David Bow Tie described this time period as “Corns gold rush” and the golden age of popcorn. Meanwhile, the research and development teams at Hauer Gang brands developed Pelican Briefs, it was rumored that this short form fitting turned the tide.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 16)
Sugar rations during WWII landed American snackers to eat three times more popcorn. The salacious scribe, the paradise pear pundit, pasta maker David Bow Tie described this time period as “Corn’s gold rush” and the golden age of popcorn. Meanwhile, the research and development teams at Hauer Gang brands developed Pelican Briefs, it was rumored that this short form fitting turned the tide.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 15)
Sprong sprengs as spring sprang and sprung. If you received Richard Quickley’s pamphlet Get Rich Quick in the mail, you’ll receive Got Rich Quick really soon. Every time I go near the monkey cages at the zoo I step in Rhesus pieces. The agony and ecstasy of painting one’s bathroom is like an Edy’s pie, so take a bite.
The Absorption (Part 5)
Sprong sprengs as spring sprang and sprung. If you received Richard Quickley’s pamphlet Get Rich Quick in the mail, you’ll receive Got Rich Quick really soon. Every time I go near the monkey cages at the zoo I step in Rhesus pieces. The agony and ecstasy of painting one’s bathroom is like an Edy’s pie, so take a bite. Lemon shark sounds delicious, I wonder if they contain a high level of Vitamin C?
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 14)
Tattler the Rattler slid while snaking the entire time. In a constant search for a mild rue lullaby, he decided to settle near the bayou. Ophidians do not have outer or inner ear bones so they all have to buy or make mask straps if they want to catch a Blue Heron flight.
The Absorption (Part 4)
Tattler the Rattler slid while snaking the entire time. In a constant search for a mild rue lullaby, he decided to settle near the bayou. Ophidians do not have outer or inner ear bones so they all have to buy or make mask straps if they want to catch a Blue Heron flight.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 13)
The Longmeadow Lathe Masquerade & The Northampton Nail Masticators are the two finalists in the Valentine’s Day Massacre Film Festival. Screening for the The VDMFF will take place on the back of a giant floating tortoise or online. The winner will receive an entry at Cannes and the runner up will receive the corn horned diamond in the ruff eagle nest of distinction.
The Absorption (Part 3)
The Longmeadow Lathe Masquerade & The Northampton Nail Masticators are the two finalists in the Valentine’s Day Massacre Film Festival. Screening for the The VDMFF will take place on the back of a giant floating tortoise or online. The winner will receive an entry at Cannes and the runner up will receive the corn horned diamond in the ruff eagle nest of distinction.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 12)
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sheep. Dreaming about Little Bo Peep. But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been shearing hard. Said no more counting collars, we be counting hogs. We be counting hogs. Do robots dream of electric sheep? I wonder if real sheep dream of people jumping?
The Absorption (Part 2)
If you’re unable to enjoy cake by the ocean this winter, enjoy the marshmallow world around you. With snow covered whipped cream days, don’t freeze among the evergreen trees, & bundle up so you don’t sneeze.
The Absorption
December is ripe with many overlooked food holidays. Embrace a healthy lifestyle and Eat a Red Apple Day on December 1st before National Fritters Day on the 2nd. Cotton Candy Day is the 7th and brownies bring in the 8th. Special weapons and tactics; SWAT may be needed to shoo gnats on Fruitcake Day, (Dec. 27). Happy gnats prefer red wine to spiked seltzer or other lower grade libations.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 11)
May your winter season be full of wishes, dishes, and swishes. December is ripe with many overlooked food holidays. Embrace a healthy lifestyle and eat a red apple day on December 1st before National Fritters Day on the 2nd. Cotton candy day is the 7th and brownies bring in the 8th. Special weapons and tactics; SWAT may be needed to shoo gnats on Fruitcake Day, (Dec. 27).
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 10)
Aloe originates from the Arabian Peninsula, but lives in tropical, semi-tropical, arid, and indoor environments. It is one of the most useful plants in the world and provides many healing properties. Hummingbirds love the nectar from the bell-shaped aloe flowers that bloom in spring and early summer.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 9)
Hockomock is a “place where the spirits dwell” & the swamp that bears the name houses magical fire wielding pukwudgies. Gauge what you do or say around them cautiously, because they are known to play a few tricks.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 8)
This edition is brought to you by the bat thermos of soup Alfred made for a run down Batman in The Animated Series. Did Bruce ever rock bat dominoes, house any bits, or grab some fresh apples in that ride? Playing endless hours of online bee simulators made life a ball again. The fire bees are finally making digital honey, and the male drones & worker females rendezvous at the hive. Bee’s Company too!
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 7)
Dive in, all hands on deck. August is a grand slam 31-day hit parade. You don’t have to lead our horse to water because he plays water polo every day. The MVP – our most valuable pony won every event at this year’s pony awards. At a recent steeplechase workout, Clyde started slip sliding, trembled & tripped.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 6)
Riding on any wave is what I crave. While some scream for ice cream, I dream of frozen limonene. Lemons are a natural antiseptic and can take the sting out of bug bites. One of the meanings of the word portmanteau is a word blending, such as lymon from the words lemon and lime. I think lymon is the color fireflies emanate and I’m getting pretty thirsty for a yelloreen or grello soda right now.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 5)
Does the saying, “your home is your castle,” apply if you live in an actual castle? In the game of chess, castling can be a great way to protect your king as well as plan attacks. The four rules for castling in chess are that the king can not be in check, the squares that the king passes and lands on must not be under attack, all the spaces between the rook and the king must be empty, and they can not have moved from their original squares.
The Neighborly Absorption (Part 4)
I finally booked a proper amphitheater to hold my 3-act play, The 3 Scrooges. It is a take on the Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol; however, Ebenezer’s siblings, Maurice & Shirley, pay him a surprise visit. The dollops of the wallops will make one, oh kneel in April’s delights. What-cha gonna do when the supernatural slapstick of Moe, Eben, and Shirley collide in an outdoor space near you?