The Absorption (Part 4)
Written by David J. Greenspan
Article published in Longmeadow Neighbors (March 2022)
Tattler the Rattler slid while snaking the entire time. In a constant search for a mild rue lullaby, he decided to settle near the bayou. Ophidians do not have outer or inner ear bones so they all have to buy or make mask straps if they want to catch a Blue Heron flight.
Jeb was far from home and realized no way home was beat. After directing whale probes, false prophets and seeing beyond our origins, Jeb heard the cagzirs call a million miles away and pined for a homecoming.
Many birds are able to reach altitudes above 10,000 feet but it was two egrets, Gable and Gambrel who broke all the altitude records. As the egrets swooped through and checked every egress they built great strength and stamina. It was on one of these flights to the upper atmosphere where the quartet met.
The energy is palpable. The steaks are pierced with little stakes and have never been higher. Amidst baseball’s hottest stoves, endless hurricanrana, busted brackets and diamond seasons, the breeders, coaches and camels of the CWL got next.
Gable, Gambrel, and Tattler travelled throughout southwestern Turkey to secure the broadcast and digital rights to the Camel Wrestling League. The 2,100 year old sport will get a rebrand next season. The first two events are the Karpuzlu Kerfuffle and the TLC, Turkish ladders and chairs.
Pops Galacticorn, the financier of the Outskirts Depot, cut a deal with Jeb to bring the TLC event to our shores at the start of next season in November 2022. However due to local laws and regulations, the actual competitions will be held in international waters in a barge currently being built off the coast of Cape Cod.
Jeb had multitudes of space filth throughout its entire system and decided to give into a Turkish bath. Once scrubbed and cleaned, new letters and markings revealed that Jeb was in fact the James Webb telescope.
“When you as a coach win, you get to be a genius. But if you look at it, you’re a guy who was a PE major in college, your best class was recess and you win some games. You go from being good at recess to being a genius.” - John Madden
