The Absorption (Part 2)
Written by David J. Greenspan
Article published in Longmeadow Neighbors (January 2022)
“If you’re unable to enjoy cake by the ocean this winter, enjoy the marshmallow world around you.”
With snow covered whipped cream days, don’t freeze among the evergreen trees, & bundle up so you don’t sneeze.
Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sheep. Dreaming about Little Bo Peep. But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been shearing hard. Said no more counting collars, we be counting hogs. We be counting hogs. Do robots dream of electric sheep? I wonder if real sheep dream of people jumping? If we asked 100 sheep what they dreamed about, I am sure Edwin Moses would be the number one answer. Sergei Bubka, Lolo Jones & Brittney Griner would probably make the board as well.
Under the newest overpass lies Pristine Fleas. Pops Galacticorn’s newest venture. Inspired by his ancestors; the preposterous, ponderous, pair who produced peppercorn products throughout the age of antiquity, Versaticules & Versatillules. They were the first people to say that if you don’t enjoy the pepper, don’t throw out the corn. Sandwiched between Mildew Incorporated & Trust n Rust, the cadets at Aroma Foam want to marinate the northeast with Lemon Pepper Spray. A ghoul, an oracle, & the ghoul’s assistant lure you to the largest gaming stand in this hemisphere. They are well stocked with all the classics like Crazy Crazy Crickets, Eminent Domain & Tic-Toc Windowpane. Despite no goobers at the movies, there are plenty of yum-yummy treats to share with your sweetheart at the Sweet Booth. Pristine Fleas is super clean because garbage goobers grab non-all biodegradable items 24/7 and churn them into recycled masterpieces. They can be found on the teal tables near the pavilion. You can’t close deals with those messy heals so stop by the Orange Shoelius sneaker rack for some citrus-infused kicks.
A few months ago a tourist in China hopped a fence and sat in the white tiger enclosure. The zoo staff distracted the animals with fireworks and meat as to not harm the intruder. Maybe the white Tigers lured the man into their enclosure because they wanted a show and an extra meal.
To curb minor shenanigans at the 14th Best Fair, our crime team Dilly & Dew reported that Operation Eyebrow Transplant was a success. Written entirely through self-teams, they observed a cadre of teens flanked with first aid supplies & “safe” fireworks consisting of smoke bombs, crackers, black snakes, & sparklers. A dunk tank hurler slipped & powdered white sugar spilled from a nearby zeppole stand. The cadre sprung into action, treated and cleaned up the patrons. They repeated this action many times.
