Liz and Gwen: Building community through family
Written by Charles Noyes
Photos by Shana Sureck Photography
Published in Northampton Living (November 2020)
When Elizabeth (Liz) Solomon and Gwen Bass met six years ago, Liz had just launched her own business and Gwen was finishing up her doctorate in Special Education. They met through their children, as they were both on the board of directors at Sunnyside. Two highly educated, driven individuals—who care deeply for their families and their community—it was no surprise when they started a relationship two and a half years later. Gwen came to the partnership with three kids: Mataya, 11, Michael, 9, and Jonah, who is 8. Liz came with one: Isis, who is now 7.
In many ways, Liz and Gwen have similar careers—both of them work in the field of emotional intelligence and social emotional learning—and, better yet, both love what they do. In her role as the director of the Teacher Leadership program at Mount Holyoke, Gwen trains teachers interested in becoming stronger leaders in the field of education. She is also an educational consultant, and works with social workers, and parents on how to best support children with disabilities and in foster care.
Through Liz’s business, New Realm Coaching and Consulting, she offers services in three overlapping areas: “I coach individuals in the framework of Emotional Intelligence (EI),” she explains, “I consult with organizations on building more collaborative and healthy corporate cultures, and I help my clients develop their communications, teaching them how to best align their voice with their brand and their values.”
Almost inevitably, conversation with Liz and Gwen will lead you to wonder how they manage to balance such full professional lives while raising four kids. “People always say, ‘Four kids! You must be exhausted all the time,’” Liz laughs, “But four kids—especially four kids around the same age who get along like our kids do—has been a blessing. The fact that they have each other has spared us from many of the challenges other parents have been facing during these difficult times.”
Like many, Liz and Gwen have been faced with the daunting task of working full time while parenting their children over the past six months. While this has come with moments of challenge, both women reflect on how grateful they are for their neighborhood and the access to the outdoors that summertime has afforded them. “Sometimes it feels like we’ve gone back to the 1950s,” says Liz, “Our kids spend a lot of time riding bikes outside or playing elaborate games of pretend with whatever they’ve found around the house—like using the recycling to make shadow boxes.” Gwen adds, “They are real explorers. They are really interested in the world and so they spend a lot of time out in nature asking one another questions.”
When the pandemic hit, both Liz and Gwen got busier with work, their services in high demand. The fact that the kids have had each other as playmates has enabled them to balance their time between creating routines that offer everyone a combination of structure and downtime, while also serving their clients fulfilling their professional responsibilities. Living within walking distance to the bike path and Child’s Park also means that the family gets out of the house all together. They have spent moments this summer riding bikes to get ice cream while listening to music on a boombox in Liz’s bike basket. They have also taken good advantage of the secret swimming spots this valley has to offer.
Liz and Gwen have deep roots in this area and are also avid travelers. “I grew up in Amherst, left to get my masters and then I came back,” shares Gwen, “I didn’t think I’d stick around, but once I had kids that changed. With it’s beautiful landscapes, safe neighborhoods, and proximity to cities and airports, it’s a dreamy place to raise children.” Liz adds, “I was really grateful to grow up here and then really ready to leave when I was 17. I was gone for a long time—I lived in San Francisco for seven years, but in the back of my mind, I guess I always knew if I had kids, I would come back.” Over the past three years, Liz and Gwen have used this area as a launching pad. They have taken the kids on numerous domestic and international adventures and have found ways to expose the children to communities and cultures outside of their hometown.
When asked about the experience of raising a family here in the valley, Gwen had this to say, “Each of our kids has a different story. My kids are adopted and go back and forth between two homes (mine and their other parent’s) and that’s a big part of their identity. Isis has a biological father who lives in Africa, and she spends a lot of time with her grandmother who lives down the street. What I appreciate about this area is that our family, while unique in its own right, is not so far outside of the norm. Our kids attend schools where other families look like ours and our kid’s different identities are, in many ways, embraced.”
“We got together after having kids,” Liz adds, “And so we both came together with a really solid collection of people—family friends, aunties, and other adults who now our kids all get to share. We have a lot of conversations about the difference between biological and chosen family. Ultimately, we want our kids to feel like they have an entire network of support that exists beyond just our home.”
Hearing how many different people influence the lives of their children, it’s clear that for Liz and Gwen, raising a family is an act of fostering community. In their case—because of all the traveling and connecting they have done and because Isis’s fathers family is in Africa—this community is worldwide.
In many ways, the life Gwen and Liz have created reflects their deepest interests. The couple has found ways to integrate aspects of their professional lives—specifically emotional intelligence—into the ways they parent. They model for their children how to live a whole life where hard work, creativity, play, physical activity, and exploration are all equally valued. There is a balance between routine and adventure—between honoring each kid for their own unique needs, and fostering a spirit of collaboration within the home. They have found ways to build a community of support around each individual child while solidifying their bond as a group. Gwen reminds us, “This is an unprecedented moment in time. School has been upended and in many ways, our day-to-day lives look quite different now than they did six months ago. We keep saying that if we want to do one thing well during this time, it’s to emerge with strong relationships. If we can communicate and collaborate well in helping each other get what we need—if we can appreciate what we have, including one another—then this year will have been a success. We would rather stress less about their academic progress and more about whether or not they are happy and interested in the world.”
