Written by David J. Greenspan

Riding on any wave is what I crave. While some scream for ice cream, I dream of frozen limonene. Lemons are a natural antiseptic and can take the sting out of bug bites. One of the meanings of the word portmanteau is a word blending, such as lymon from the words lemon and lime. I think lymon is the color fireflies emanate and I’m getting pretty thirsty for a yelloreen or grello soda right now. If building a sand castle is too much of a hassle, use your fingers and toes as a pendulum throws to create whatever floats your boat. July brings satisfaction to the senses, reunions, romance and riptides. Keep it slow in the undertow.

Edith Wharton wrote, “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” A full moon will accompany the 4th & 5th, so snap snapping turtles or snapdragons in the sky. The reason the Earth’s moon and sun appear to be the same size is because the moon is approximately 400 times smaller and 400 times closer to earth than our sun. The average 4 year old asks about 400 questions a day. It’s time to explore the world of slugs, snails, and pizzly bears. Did you know that lungfish hibernate on land for years before fresh rainwater creates the environment for them to swim again?

My homework assignments this summer are to memorize the tongue twister—sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick and read the Comoros Islands adventure autobiography of Stephen Sharkley; The Porpoise Driven Life. Mark Twain said that nutrient rich cauliflower is cabbage with a college education. Wading in a tidal wave of popularity, low carb and gluten free Cauliflower pizza would like to thank sauce and cheese for it’s multiple terminal degrees. TOD’s newly appointed czar of social media Katherine Baleen said, “Everyone will have a whale of a good time at The Outskirts Depot. We tweaked our venting machines in favor of The Negatron 2. It transfers negative energy into positive vibes and only takes 3 deep breaths. At the amphitheater, the bluegrass group The Tossed Talons will play their viral hits “We All Set Around Um” & “Know That Times Wow” every Tuesday afternoon. A new educational powerhouse known as TODDLER—The Outskirts Depot Developmental Learning Education Room is open to all pre-K children and is adjacent to our digital space, the DOT—the Depot of Thought. We would like to thank the volunteers from Bake-A-Fish and the optimism group at Salad Blessings for financing the ropes, tires, and paddle boats at James Pond. Our favorite ism is optimism & this summer, TOD is full of it.”