Written by David J. Greenspan

Got 300 cars around me;
Edges feeling fine,
Looked out once;
knock out punch
Now I’m riding blind
And I say; hey hey hey, yeah yeah yeah,
Let’s go racing!!!
Hardly racing!!!
Down the dusty rusty road; I’m all alone, yeah all alone.
You don’t even know; Toombs a ridin’, and a testifyin’.
Porchy misers capsized, Kentucky fried phones turkeys terrorized!!!

The Longmeadow Lathe Masquerade & The Northampton Nail Masticators are the two finalists in the Valentine’s Day Massacre Film Festival. Screening for the The VDMFF will take place on the back of a giant floating tortoise or online. The winner will receive an entry at Cannes and the runner up will receive the corn horned diamond in the ruff eagle nest of distinction.

Eaves and the Bahraini, they like, they like, like, like to stay indoors. Sometimes people space them out, so they make like a barn and lay in some hay. Eaves and his Bahraini love brunches with cookies and waiting in line for NFT’s.

Since the dawn of the billionaire space race, Pops Galacticorn has traveled to near-earth orbit more than anyone and has grown tired with the chore. He upped the ante and financed a joint gargoyle/human expedition to the red planet. The gargoyles will extract the recently discovered water near Mars poles & canyons to Twitty Ditty’s Water Fun Pit in Western Massachusetts. Data entry drone heads, known as DED-heads lurk & troll your movements.. The Wonders of the Future exhibit houses levitating Ampli-Flyer Music, Gargle-Goyle-Oil baths and the Navigators of the Antilles. The stagnant river has been replaced with the new 24-hour adventure ride called The Legendary of Snake Tahoe. The aroma of fresh cream corn slides, poutine gravy river hydrants and chicken contenders is something you will never forget. Wash it down with sips from a legit fountain of youth or one of the 11 sprinklers of old age. Don’t miss the medieval-themed water dungeon or The Caverns of Caducity where - everything is happenin’.

The info-crea-tainment department at the dental conglomerate Floss Hauss reminds everyone this Valentine’s Day, “You can’t close any deals with those messy heals. Be a floss boss.” Candy Guppy’s Sweet Shoppe’s Scandinavian Fish supplier was unable to secure any Swedish Fish this year. Candy Guppy reminds everyone that they are overstocked with alternates such as Finnish Flounder and Norwegian Nandus Nandus. What better way to tell someone you care by giving them Indonesian Amnesia gummy bears?