Are you a Solo?
Article published in Northampton Living
(December 2022)
The short answer: It’s complicated.
Strictly speaking, Solos are defined as adults 65 or older who have neither a spouse/partner or adult children to support them as they age. But the complexities of real life, real people, and real families also come into play. In the real world of serving financial planning clients, we’ve worked with many people who don’t qualify as Solos – technically speaking. Yet in actuality, now or in the foreseeable future, they will be aging pretty much on their own.
Some Solos are married.
In many cases, both members of a couple are living but one of them has become incapacitated with dementia or other progressive diseases like ALS or Parkinson’s. Particularly when there are no children in the picture, the more able spouse becomes solely responsible for finances, major life decisions and planning for their own aging. While caregiving is often all-consuming, the client is simultaneously transitioning into the role of a Solo.
Some Solos have children.
Some Solos are parents who nevertheless will be on their own as they age. The geographical distance between parents and their adult children can be a major obstacle. No matter how strong the relationship, long-distance support and caregiving has limitations. In other cases, adult children with chronic illness or a disability may require their own ongoing care, and aren’t capable of caring for an aging parent. Whatever the reason, as many as 18 percent of older parents are estranged from their adult children.
Some Solos aren’t sure of their status.
The family as an institution continues to change. As a result, some Solos feel they’re living in limbo, not knowing whether they have “family” who can support them if the need arises. When one member of a LGBTQ couple dies, for example, it may be unclear whether the immediate family regards the survivor as kin. Stepparents may have similar uncertainties about their stepchildren’s commitment to providing care. And when long-term partners have never married, the survivor’s relationships may be even more ambiguous.
So, are we all Solos?
No. As the formal definition spells out, Solos must have specific characteristics. Yet whether you are aging on your own or with the support of family, ultimately all of us are alone. As we navigate the complexities of later life, we all need partners in the broadest sense, whether they be spouses, longtime companions, children, extended family, friends, neighbors, helpers or professionals. Every one of us needs a “village.”
Solos get the last word.
Our monthly newsletter, The Soloist, is geared toward a growing but often unacknowledged segment of the older population. Visit www.davisfinancialgrp.com/newsletter/the-soloist for articles that provide insights that financial planning advisors might overlook. It features the voices of experts as well as Solos themselves and covers estate planning, elder-care planning, social supports and community, living arrangements, and wellness and healthcare. Solo or not, we all need a personal safety net for aging.